Irreplaceable

My random thoughts.

Archive for the category “Miss Ikaz”

Another Cliché Post? Memories of Margaret- Mary “Zara Gretti” Joseph


Abit Cliché

IMG_20140402_214812

Everyone is writing a tribute, Everyone has something to say.

And alot of people dont get it, one gossip website/blog even said with sarcasm.that “its become cool to be a zara friend”

Yea, they cant get it, its simply because you carried almost everyone along.

You desperately needed to be helped so yea you carried us all along, everyone, anyone.

I count myself to have been lucky enough to have known you and been there in the little way I could.

I have tried so hard not to write this.

At the tribute yesterday Kraft asked if I will speak

I said I had too much to say.

There were memories.

so yea I have decided to write.

I met you through my sis, she says both of you would tell each other you were the most beautiful and refuse to accept that you were finer than the other. Lol

I was in JSS1 I think you left Badore a few weeks after I got into Badore. Somehow yourself and my sis would keep in touch.

FastForward 2000-and-something sis told me you had started a music career you wanted to come back to Naija, we discussed labels and all. But I guess you spoke with other people and you got it sorted. I didnt hear from you again until you came, we’ll jam randomly and say hi’s chit chat thats all it was.

Fast Forward MS started.

I was ignorant I heard bout your illness but didnt know what to do until you sent my sis a voice note, she played me the voicenote and I was scared!!! You told her bout MS and what you were going through. It dawned on us how bad it was.

I asked for your pin , we will talk regularly, we discussed the GTB acc, your Fidelity acc, we agreed on the GTB, but I couldnt open the account in your absence, so you said you’ll be home soon.

Then one day one twitter you asked for my number,you were coming to town and we agreed to meet up. I came to see you at Liz’s

GTB

As we drove by GTB HQ yesterday the memories were fresh.

How we had to beg the security guys to carry you up the stairs cos you couldnt climb the stairs.

How you eventually climbed holding the railings and smiling.

Admiralty Way

As I drive past Admiralty way I remember the passport photographs you took, how we had to get you up and down the stairs. I still have a copy of the passport photo, i remember giving you my tiny earrings to take the passport photo.

Boli and Fish?

Lol I remember offering to buy you boli and fish.

Your excitement and innocense as we bought the boli and fish.

Yea that memory i hold.

Kraft says you still asked for Boli and fish recently.

Ice Cream Factory.

The bowel movement incident

How you were crying and saying you wished I didnt have to see you in that state.

and I was upset that you saw it as a big deal. It was nothing.

Voice Notes.

The shakey voicenotes cos you couldnt type or you were to tired to type.

You’ll send a voicenote I’ll type my reply.

Stem Cell/MS Research.

Mailing the Stem cell clinic, and mailing you the reply.

Your reply was “sounds good mama but I need to get back to yankee right”

Then we spoke about starting a campaign.

We had a budget from the Stem Cell Hospital. Flyer created. We tried to share it facebook, instagram,bbm but that was all.

I was helpless, I didnt know what else to do. I could have tried more. For that I take some blame.

Fast Forward 2014.

You were coming to Lagos and you called my sis Tifa, you desperately needed a place to stay, you called Liz too, I am sure you had called a couple of others too.

But its just normal that alot of people suggested that staying with Family would be better.

I didnt even know when you came in, then you buzzed me two weeks ago, you werent feeling any better, I was helpless I had been a bit ill too, I didnt know what to say. I asked you plenty questions, who could I call or ask?  Nobody.

The week you died, you buzzed me on bbm, you said hi and my reply was “I’m sorry” you asked why I was sorry, it was simply cause I felt guilty like I should be doing more.

As cliche as it sounds your status gingered me and I was going to try harder that week.

Maybe cause you had fought for so long, I kinda thought you’ll be able to fight for so long.

I guess MS was upset that you were strong through it all.

In all I am thankful for you, as a muslim all I know that I should do is PRAY for you, nothing else. Ask God to forgive you, and pray that heavens gates are opened for you.

And no I am not moody/upset/sad those of us left behind are left inspired and with a message. No amount of sadness/ regret can bring you back

Inna Lilahi Wa Inna Ilahi Rajiun

Open Letter to My Husband on Our First Year Anniversary!!!!


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Alhamdullilah

Its been 365days of an entirely new experience.

In the past year I have confirmed that I have a support system in my husband and that my husband is the only best friend I really need.

He’s been my best friend, brother, father, business partner, confidant, teacher,happiness machine,play mate

My dear @Abiodunkssm for loving me unconditionally, for loving my perfect imperfections, my skoin skoin,for reminding me every time that I am special, I am important and no ones opinion matters.

In the past year you have made it clear that unhappiness is not allowed and every time I try to swing into a mood, you effortlessly drag me out of it and tell me “we don’t do this here”

You make it clear that our marriage and lives should be rosy and happy for the most part of our union.

I, without regret say that the past year has been the best year of my years, your family has taken Me as Thiers, I’ve been treated like a princess.

The support all rounder has been massive.

I knew from the first day December 26 2010 that you will be a blessing to me, 2 years after we decided to make us official.

You make it easy,all of me loves all of you, my dear Husband Abiodun Ridwan Kassim @abiodunkssm today,everyday and FOREVER MORE

In Sha Allah.

#weddinganniversary #firstyearwedding #naijawedding #bellanaijaweddings #oneyearweddinganniversary #naijabride #nigerianwedding #nigerianweddings #muslimfamily Image#muslimah #islamiyah

20th of May, 20-something years ago…….


On May 20th Nineteen eighty something, a special child was born, seven days after she was named Zaynab. That special child is ME *fanning myself* *doing the beauty queen wave*

Its been a while since I wrote anything on my blog, writers block/busy/ chasing money plus I’m now a family woman *blushes* *azontos*

Zainab Ikaz Kassim

Me & My Mr K

A lot of happenings in the early part of the year have got me worried,distant,scared and more conscious. Lost some friends to death, got reminded that life has always been fickle.

Its been a very demanding, time consuming but eventful year and I’m thankful to God.

In the past year I’ve hurt & been hurt, I’ve taught & learnt, I’ve given & I’ve received, I’ve grown & I’ve helped grow, I’ve fed & been fed, I’ve encouraged & been encouraged, too much has happened give me a call to know more *rolls eyes*

The past year has been a great year, I’ve understood the meaning of Love,Friendship,Family and yes if you didn’t know “♫♪husby loves me and♫♪ he’s put a ring(two rings actually) on it♫♪” , Yep being married to the best husband in the world is one of the things that have made life better for me, having the best mum and siblings in the world and being lucky to have inlaws like mine are very few of the many reasons I know I’m a blessed and lucky “geh”

This year I gave myself goals in my head,and by the fifth month I’m proud to say with the help of God and Family I’m more than halfway through my goals.

To my husband, mum, siblings, inlaws, family, and friends, I appreciate the unending love, I know how difficult I can get, yet you all stick with me, you show me love and support, you listen when I want to talk, you hold my hands when I need to walk with someone, you scold me and still draw me closer.
I’m thankful to God for being blessed with you all around me.

To My Husband,Mum,Siblings,Mum-in-law,Dad-in-law,Sis-Inlaw,Bro-in-law. In the past year you all will never ever know how much you’ve impacted my life by something you’ve said,something you’ve tried to correct,something you’ve given (wide grin) and a whole lot, I appreciate the constant unending love, care and understanding and I pray Ma Sha Allah that the love and grace of Allah (SWT) will never depart from us all. Amin.

And to my sister-friends, the ones who never ever leave my side, the ones who’ll stand through it all, the ones who love me and treat me like their sister, you’ll never know how priceless your friendship is, you’ve become my sisters, your parents have become my parents your siblings have become my siblings. God bless you girls.

To Everyone who has been a part of the CASAP Family (volunteers,supporters,sponsors) you guys are amazing.

To Every client we at M.Ikaz&A have had, we appreciate you.

On this note I’ll say the year has been fantastic, God has been faithful, his “awesomeness” is awesome, he’s fantastic, he’s amazing, he’s a darling, he’s my father, the father of all fathers, if you don’t know him “o ti je igo” ( you are doomed)

I’ll enjoy the rest of the year Ma Sha Allah (by Gods grace) stay blessed thanks for reading.

My “Sudden” Love for Theatre


Stage Plays Rubiewe (top) Little Drops (down)


For someone like me who registered to join an acting group in 2008/2009 (Lasun Ray Theatre troupe) it was hectic, tiring, stressful , and yoruba-ish (no disrespect intended) I’m in the best position to tell you how “not very encouraging it is in the beginning” for some actors ( especially females )
The very irritating bleached Yoruba actors ( I can mention names ) that bring crap to your table, the stress of auditions, the thought of the millions of people who started the “acting hustle” before you and the dumb conclusion that they had to make it before you.
As a growing child, I loved acting (yea we all did) I’ll stare at my mirror and act my heart out ( lol) I still do.
I thought I was passionate about it and that day when I got that form in 2008 I thought “acting ” was it, one month into it, I couldn’t endure the rigorous rehearsals, getting home late, having to dance till my body ached, having to hear smelling mouthed bleached local idiots make passes at me.

At this point I guess I wasn’t as passionate as I thought I was and so that was the end of my “acting” career that never really started. Over the years, all I knew about Nigeria, acting and actors was “Nollywood”, I had no idea about theatre troupes, I had no idea that there were stage plays, all I ever knew about the Industry was “light” “camera” “action”. Or so I thought.

Stage Plays


Then sometime last year, I began to mix,gist and hang out with a lot of theatre people, I watched a few rehearsals and I began to get interested yet again, I began to fall in love with acting and Theatre as a whole, but this time as an observer.
The burning passion from the actors was very impressive, how they’ll rehearse like their lives depended on it,it was a totally different ball game entirely, their commitment? Spot on.

I began to take details, the “almost near perfect make believe”man made stage, the stage builders/managers who’ll have climb, fall, get pricked by nails, hit their thumbs with hammers, just so the could get the stage right and make it look like the real deal.
You can tell that these people are passionate about this thing called theatre, you can see the passion in their eyes during rehearsals, the way they rehearse their lines and act out their roles like its performance day.

I have come to KNOW that the work put into packaging a proper stage play is NOT child’s play, it is NOT ” just a play”
And even though some don’t have cars, some don’t have fat bank accounts, but you can tell that they have faith in “theatre” they believe it will pay off and I know it will.
It kills me, it burns my heart to know that these people have hustled, rehearsed but have little or nothing to show for it, yet they have decided to stick to their passion.

I won’t be being sentimental if I say that its easier to get the message from a stage play, it’s the real thing, its LIVE, its Stage, before your very eyes.
I find it easier to connect with the live performances and get lost in the amazing musical ambiance created on stage!

Hopefully theatre will get better in Nigeria, Nigerian’s will “willingly” spend the 5,000 they spend watching movies at the cinemas/on concerts, on stage plays.
Nigerian’s will learn to respect the hustle of disciplined theatre artists (actors,dancers,singers)

God bless the theatre artists (Directors, Stage Managers, Actors, Producers and everyone usually involved) , those working really hard, going for auditions, getting disappointed, praying, and putting in their very best, believe me when I say, it will pay off, hold on to your dream, NEVER let go, and Never let anyone tell you, you cannot.

Signed,

A Lover of Theatre
Read more…

Am I Proudly Nigerian?


Am I Proudly Nigerian?

Am I Proudly Nigerian?

11:45pm
Watching the Opening Ceremony
Of the Olympic Games.

As I watched and awaited the Nigerian flag bearer and entourage, I was on my twitter timeline tweeting and joking away.

And it was amazing how excited we the “common” people of nigeria were, those of us who have never spent government money, some of us who do not have very rich influential oil barons as fathers, you could tell from the tweets that a lot of people were excited and expectant, they couldn’t wait to see their Nigerian reps, they wished them well and they were proud of their people.

I read tweets like “proudly nigerian” and “Nigerian and proud”

Then I asked myself the question, am I proudly Nigerian? What benefits do I get as a Nigerian? If given the opportunity will I rather be a British citizen? Or an American.
My answer was YES, my answer is still YES.

No doubt I’m proud of my black skin, my thick african hair, the food I eat, my culture, my tradition,my curves (*coughs), my accent.

But am I proud of my leaders? Am I proud of the government that rules my country? Am I proud of the leaders I’ve known all my life? Am I? Am I proud of the “Head of my supposed home Nigeria”?
NO, I’m not. I’m not proud of the fraudulent activities my people are involved in, I’m not proud of the lack of security and the insecurity we have to live in, I’m not proud of the incompetence of my government, I’m NOT Proud of Nigeria, there’s nothing to be proud of.
Maybe I’m proud of the few Nigerians who have been able to make a name for themselves irrespective, I’m proud of the Nigerians who stand up to speak against our corrupt leaders, the one’s who make us proud and put our country’s name on the map.

Those are the people I’m proud of, and until Nigeria becomes better, that’s if it ever will be, I WON’T be proud of Nigeria, no doubt I cannot change the fact that I am Nigerian, but no parent will come out to publicly claim a child that brings shame to the family name.

Have you asked yourself. Are you truly, sincerely “Proudly Nigerian”? or maybe the question should be, “Are you proud of Nigeria”?

Am I allowed to be my ex’s best friend/close Friend?


🙂 I asked this question on twitter, facebook and bbm and from the replies I could tell that some of my friends wanted to slap me. Lol

Below are some of the replies I got

 

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

 

If the current doesn’t mind, then it’s all good. But beware Okafors law.

-KPT

 

Will you allow your partner keep their ex as their besty? If you can allow it then ….

_ Hemba P.T, Deola Bold Ent, Omotomilola

 

 

Only if he’s a monk/ pope or dead – Prince Abbas

 

Excuse to do Nonsense, best friend ko, sunday school teacher ni – Ojay Kukoyi

 

No you are Not, emotions will always creep in – Edna Reis

 

There will be divided attention having your ex as best friend. You’re supposed to share just about everythn with ur partner, having to share same with ur ‘bestfrnd/ex’. Just doesn’t seem appropriate – Bunmi Gang

 

Yes u can be cordial to each other. “Hello”, “Hi” type… Even family friends but NOT sharing secrets and sorrows and all that stuff best friends do – Nwando

 

You CAN’T be his friend its wrong in the rule of dating

– Kafayat Sholola

 

 

Babes,lets get real. being your ex’s best friend,wow it simply means you both still have feelings for each other or you are still having sex..but you can be friends not best friends

– Gbemi Agboola

 

hmmm! madam!!!! Depends on how well you can handle it and a whole lot of other factors. so it’s yes if you can handle it and no if u cannot… but if your partner/spouse did same, would you be cool with it? think about it

– Ife Love

 

You guys shouldn’t have broken up in d first instance if u guys wanted to remain as best friend.

– Gbemi Adakomola-Soremi

 

Of course you are very much allowed….to deceive yourself

– Azeez Aiyekoti

 

 

The Dana Crash : Reality Check.


Life can get colorful, sometimes we are happy and we just hope those moments last forever.
Those times when we hang out with friends, loved one’s and family. And we just hope we could have those moments for life.

I love life (I’m sure we all do) the simple things, colours, dancing, music, family, love, friends, being alive is actually fun stuff sometimes, I often times daydream of a world where we can live forever, no growing old, no dying, no pain, no bomblasts, no wars, no car crashes, no plane crashes.

I’ve tried so hard to repel the urge to blog about the dana crash.
Yesterday at work I decided to visit a webpage dedicated to the Late Maimuna Anyene and her family ( Husband, 4 children, mother in-law, cousins and sister) who all lost their lives to the Dana Crash.
I almost didn’t want to check the pictures, I was so sure my weak heart couldn’t handle the sight well, and as I clicked from picture to picture, my knees got weak, my heart was heavy as I tried to fight the tears from dropping.

Then I remembered bbm updates the sunday evening of the crash, I had friends who had lost family members, colleagues, friends, pastors et al.

I couldn’t and still cannot imagine the pain and grief they have to live with for the rest of their lives, I cannot imagine how they’ll be able to move on, I’m trying to understand how the remaining members of Maimuna’s family will take it.

The more I imagine, the more saddened I become , the more my heart bleeds, I can almost see a picture of her family members gathered, crying (in my head) .

My colleague asked why I wasn’t as excited about 5pm as I usually would have been.
This time I didn’t care if it was 8pm.
My heart was heavy, my head was spinning, my mind wandered off.
I was angry, I wanted to slap and rip the clothes off the person who authorized takeoff of that flight, I wanted to bite him all over and use sticks and stones to hit him until he has sores all over him, then I wanted to put him in an aircraft and make him drive straight into a rock, I felt like hearing him scream and suffer the same way those 160 people had to suffer.

But will any of that bring those people back? Will it? I wanted to ask God the same questions I asked when I lost my grandma and dad.

But then I remembered that certain questions never got answers.

I began to get mad at myself for moving on barely 72 hours of the crash, I began to get irritated at the fact that it was so easy for people (my self inclusive) to return to our normal lives.

I guess a lot of us have come to terms with the fact that people have to die and as we have life we have death.

At this point I ask myself one question I often find myself asking, “is any of these really worth all the stress” ? Striving, toiling, working hard to survive, and there’s really no assurance that you’ll live to see the next minute.

I’m not any better than any of those people who have lost their lives to bomb blasts, accidents, car crashes, plane crashes, illness’s, et al.

I could have been on that flight, I’ve been postponing my going to Abuja for over a month, I’ve flown to Abuja and back a couple of times, what if it was one of those times? What if I was in that crash?

As I write, I write in fear, and No I don’t need no one to preach to me that God hasn’t given me the spirit of fear, because as I write, my heart has skipped beats at intervals.

I can only ask questions, I can’t even make sense of this write up, I’m broken, I’m angry, I’m upset, I’m mad at the system, I’m mad at the height of negligence, I’m pissed, but then none of these emotions bring those people back.

Its irritating that in the midst of all of these, people had the time to add fake names to the manifest list, just so they could get the necessary compensation, just shows how heartless we human beings can be.

Not sure I know what to end this write up with, but my heart goes out to families of people who have lost their loved one’s to bomblasts, plane crashes , car crashes.

Its not easy losing “something” you love (which is even replaceable) not to talk of some one you love, people are irreplaceable the minute they are gone, they never return.

While we can, “trying” to live right is the best we can do, because you’ll never know.

My Birthday 2012 my pre birthday thoughts.


Saturday May 19, (Yesterday)

11:20pm

 

Tomorrow is My birthday… Lol… Cool story abi. Unfortunately you can’t “k” my post on my blog. Lol. And I can delete your “k”‘s lol. I’m kidding… 

 

I spent most part of my day getting wet (in the rain), going to the panel beater to help fix my sisters car , eating from a nylon, and retiring home with serious pains in my chest and crying (yes big girls cry) myself to sleep

Mummy has called me twice today to wish me a happy birthday in advance. Lol

I spent the latter part of my day trying to understand the concept of heaven. In 2face’s words “nobody wan die but them won go heaven”

Seriously though with all the BokoHaram today, Ritual Killing tomorrow, Witch craft next tomorrow, Accidents, Sickness, etc. Some even sleep and don’t wake up, one would think that more people would want to end their tenure here on earth and proceed to heaven/the after life.

 

For me if only I was sure of what would happen to my soul afterwards, I just wish I could be assured of a space in heaven (irrespective of my behavior), that way I would constantly hope that God takes me soon.

 

But then what will happen to my mummy? And My siblings? How will Bey take it? And my friends? *sigh* Will daddy be happy to see me? 😀 (mumu question shey?) Yea it’ll be unfair. These people love me.

 

At the end of the day its really not about the person that dies, its about the people who you leave behind.

How would they feel? The pain in their hearts each time they remember you. Olorun o ni je (God Forbid)

 

Randomly I feel piercing pains, in my knee, my chest, my stomach, my chest/heart region (this I understand cos of my health history) and it just feels like I’ll drop this minute. 

These same pains some people have felt and haven’t made it after 5minutes of making such complaints.

I’m not one to complain a lot , and so I rarely tell anyone when I feel such pains.

 

Sometimes I have funny feelings before going to bed and I tell God to keep my space if that night is THE night. (Obviously Not cos I’ve woken up every morning after)

 

So guess what? God obviously has plans for my life, and that’s why he’s kept me for this long.

 

Just few days ago mummy explained the difficulties surrounding my birth. It took her 3days for her to finally have me and when she did, I decided to stroll out of her womb (my legs came first maybe that’s why I like to walk) also my umbilical chord was wrapped around my body.

 

A child the Yoruba’s will call Ige Adubi and Aina Orosun,

Ige Adubi – ( Ige means Born Feet First, Adubi literally is the one that one struggles to birth).

Aina – “difficult birth, the birth had complications”.

 

For these reasons alone I know that I’m not a common child, for these alone I don’t think I want to go anymore, I don’t want my mother to cry worse tears than she did when she bore me.

For these reason I know I came to the world alive for a reason. 

 

Its my birthday again, and I’m happy I’m alive, I’m happy God has kept me. 

I’m thankful to God for his unending mercies, I’m thankful for the kind of parents I have, I’m thankful for my siblings, I’m thankful for Uncle Bey, I’m thankful for his family, I’m thankful for our friends.

I’m just thankful for everything God has done.

 

No doubt life is indeed very beautiful. And the steadfast love of God never ceases his Mercy’s never come to an end, they are new every morning.

 

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!! MISS IKAZ 1…. Yezzuurrrrr….. 😀

The Chief Side Chic


I always knew you were never going to be mine.

I had spoken to you about “us” becoming an item.

And everytime you would brush it aside.

Somewhere in my head, I believed someday you will love me.

I guess that one day never came…

For Three (3) years you and I had been friends with benefits.

I wanted to be your main chic..

But to you, it was impossible

You made it clear to me that you had a girlfriend

And so I offered to be “THE” side chic.

I just loved talking to you

Being with you and having you in my life

I hoped and prayed that some day you’ll leave your girl friend Sope for me.

I hoped and longed for when you would see reasons to be with me.

I loved you so much… ( I think I still do)

Remember when you had this big fight with your girlfriend

I was excited.

“My time had finally come” I thought to myself.

Yet again I raised the topic.

Of how beautiful it would be for us to be a couple.

You looked me in the eye and told me Not to dream about it.

At some point I told myself I wasn’t going to talk to you ever again

I tried to keep my distance…

I deleted your number off my phone.

Remember I didn’t call you for almost a month.

You didn’t even bother to check up on me.

I hoped that you’ll call one day.

You never did

Then one day I had missed you too much

I couldn’t help myself

I had missed talking to you.

And the sound of your “hello”  melted my heart.

I really didn’t have anything to say.

It took me about  20seconds before I finallyI found my voice

I apologized for not calling in a while.

I asked if you had missed me.

Proud idiot that you are .

You said you did not miss me

Jokingly.

I knew it wasn’t a joke.

I loved you way to much..

I was willing to give up anything…

You told me you were seeing someone else..

I automatically hated this one too..

Like I hated your ex.

But I never had the guts to mention my dislike for them to you..

I had gotten comfortable with my side chic status.

One day I read the chat you had with Ojay.

You told him you didn’t like me “that way”

You claimed that you just didn’t want to hurt me.

And you were looking for a way to tell me off.

That day I cried my eyes out.

You started avoiding me.

You wouldn’t pick my calls.

I begged for you to see me.

You refused.

I cried.

I came to see you at home.

Your friends made fun of me.

You shook me and told me point blank.

You said you were done.!!

I begged to be your side-chic forever.

Till you were married.

3 good years.

Guess I wasn’t any of what you wanted.

Was it a crime to love someone?

Was it a crime to want something?

I still miss you.

I curse the day I met you.

I curse the day you begged me for my phone number and I reluctantly gave it to you.

I haven’t been able to move on after over a year.

I still see your girlfriend and feel like slapping her.

For being good enough for you.

I’m sure if you came to me right now I’ll jump at the offer.

But till then

I remain yours truly

The Chief Side Chic.!

P.S I love to write. this is 100% fiction.  Though I know a couple of people who are “side-chics” and have decided to remain side chics. I can’t blame them. Matters of the heart are delicate. Why welcome someone into your heart when you can’t be with them?

Anyways Happy Workers Day, plus its my birth month. I’m super excited.

BBMDA To Show/Not To Show


April 23 2012

3.20pm

 

 

 

I just had a bbm conversation and it has ended up being my “muse”

Many times I’ve wanted to write about how I didn’t see anything wrong with putting updates about the person I cared about,family,partner,friend,etc

How it wasn’t so much of a big deal to me, and how it was instinctive as for everytime I was happy, I’ll hurriedly put it up.

 

Over time I’ve had one party of a relationship, talk to me and complain about how their partners refuse to use their pictures as their display pictures, or their names as their status updates.

 

Now a lot of people have accused me of putting up my partners picture on my dp, or putting up status updates “too much”

Some even ask me questions like “does he put you up, like you put him up”

 

 

Their reason for saying its bad??? They say and I quote

“When too many people know its harmful to your relationship”

Or.

“What if you break up”

 

 

My questions are thus?

 

0. Do people know that you are in this relationship at all?

 

 

1. Is there 100% assurance that ANY relationship will work out.?

 

 

2. If your spouse always had a picture of you on their display picture or status. Will you complain??

 

3. How does showing that you like someone affect a relationship negatively?

 

4. Is not showing BBMDA/PDA an automatic assurance that your relationship will last?

 

5. If people know that you are in a relationship already, then how much influence does BBMDA have on the strength and weakness of such relationship?

 

6. Since when did putting up dp’s and status updates become a competition?

 

 

My Ignorant Opinion.

I really don’t think there’s anything wrong with showing BBMDA.

 

Recently I decided to listen to the many relationship experts on my bbm, so I cut down on the “bey this” “bey that” on my dp/ status update.

And I got bbms, people asking me if we were fine. If my relationship was going on smoothly cos I didn’t have anything about “Bey” up.

Someone even saw us at the movies and sent me a bbm saying “thank God, she thought the worst had happened”

Can humans be pleased? I doubt it.

Why?

Because I hadn’t mentioned “Bey this Bey that” in a while.

 

If you can put updates of all the “effry” going on in your life.

Why should I be questioned, about the things, activities,individuals who excite my life?

 

 

 

 

My Ignorant verdict:

 

To those who love to use their partners pictures as their dp’s and go on and on about how much they love them bla bla bla ( not the one’s who put their fights out there o)

If it works for you fine.

 

To those who wish they could show affection on bbm, but are afraid to, just because they fear possible mockery if the relationship ends.

Hian….

Hiding how you truly feel just because you fear the many uncertainties?. More elbow grease..

 

To those who think its pointless.

Well your opinion. Everyone is entitled to one. But you can’t change other people’s opinions. Can you? Well not mine sha.

 

To those who believe that an individual shouldn’t show BBMDA except the other party is showing as much BBMDA. Is it a competition?

 

Most importantly, to those who think they aren’t getting so much love, or who feel “cheated” because they show BBMDA and their partners don’t.

I really don’t think anyone should be made/forced to show affection/BBMDA or have status updates/dp’s.

If your partner doesn’t believe that they have to put up your pictures for any reason. They shouldn’t be forced to.

Everyone is entitled to their opinions.

It doesn’t mean they love you any less.

If you don’t put updates about each other for ages, it doesn’t quantify the depth of your relationship.

 

 

 

BBMDA* Black Berry Messenger Display of Affection.

Bbm* Black Berry Messenger.

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